Horrorscope for the day: MALAS KA! Dahil sa Guard!

In the history of my noble life, eto na ata yung pinakamalas kong araw! At dahil yan sa mga GUARD na yan! P*tang Ina nila talaga! Bad trip! Pasensya na pero ang article na 'to talaga ay paglalabas lang ng galit ko sa mga P*tang Inang mga GUARD na yan! Leche Kayong Lahat! Hindi na tuloy ako nakapag-apply dahil sa mga hayop na yan! Bad trip talaga! Basta sobrang malas ko ngayong araw na 'to at ang alam ko lang gusto kong patayin yung dalawang guard na naka-engkwentro ko ngayon! WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!! Bad trip! Asar! Pag ako lang naging mayaman ha-huntingin ko yung dalawang guard na yon at pahihirapan ko sila ng husto hanggang hilingin nila na sana hindi na sila nabuhay sa mundong ito!

Tapos sasabayan pa ng walang kwentang computer na 'to na sinira yung diskette ko na may lamang resume ko! P*ta talaga! Yung attendant pa walang kwenta! Walang alam sa computer na pinaparentahan nila. Sinabi pa na yung diskette ko lang daw talaga ang may sira hindi yung computer nila. Gusto ko tuloy sabihin na "Dati kasi hindi 'to sira! Yung computer nyo lang ang sumira! Gago!" SHHEEETTTT!!!! Bwiset talaga! WHAAAA! Mamatay na kayong lahat!!!! Isama nyo na yung mga nasa gobyerno!!!!

To All The Gurls!

This article came from my friend, and girls, para sa inyo talaga to!

Hey, before I forget! ENGINEER AKO!

Today's lesson - Girls must be convinced, so learn topromote yourself - convince them
that 'Engineers are the Best Boyfriends'Let me tell you why girls should eventually
marry an engineer over a Law, Management, Arts or Medical School Graduate.

He has three distinct advantages over the rest of the graduates.
Advantage 1: Secure lifestyle
=============================
An engineer boyfriend can provide you with a secure lifestyle. At 27 years old,
an engineer probably has a respectable, stable job that gives him a high income
to own a car, invest, have a comfortable life, and get married and buy a house
too.Law graduates are still working as a lowly apprentice in law firm.Most
management graduates have just failed on their first business plan.The
arts graduate is still looking for a job.And the medical school graduate is
still living in a hospital.

Advantage 2: Unmatchable industriousness
========================================
An engineer boyfriend will dedicate an unimaginable amount of his time
and effort to understand you. Engineers strain really really hard to
understand > >their work. You can believe that they will try really really
hard to understand women too, just like how they understand their work,
once they believe that you are the one. So even if they don't understand
you initially, they will keep on trying. Even if they still do not understand,
they will figure out the correct method to keep you happy ( e.g. buy
diamond ring = 1 week's worth of happiness.) And once they find out the
secret formula, they will just keep on repeating it so that the desired
results appear.Unlike the Lawyer who will argue with you.The Management
graduate who will try to control your spending, The Arts graduate who will
'change major'. And the medical school graduate who will operate on you.
And you know what, it's really so easy to make engineer s believe that
you are the 'one'. Say that you like one of their project and they will be
hooked to you forever.

Advantage 3: An engineer boyfriend will never betray your trust.
========================================
Let me first tell you what is wrong with the rest of the others -The
lawyers will lie about everything.Management graduates will cheat
your money.The arts graduate will flirt, and you probably just look
like another cadaver to the medical school graduate.Your engineer
boyfriend is either too busy to have an affair, and even if he does,
he is too dumb to lie to you about that. Hence, an engineer is the
most secure boyfriend that you will ever find - rich enough, will
keep ontrying to understand and please you, has no time for affairs,
and too dumb to lie to you.So girls, why procrastinate?Get an
engineer for your boyfriend!

Crazy About Models

FACTOID: Hindi ko malaman kung anung kamalasan ang dala nitong article na 'to dahil four times ko na 'tong pina paulit ulit! Pero itutuloy ko na rin dahil marami na rin ang nagrereklamo at wala na daw silang mabasa...

Ewan ko, siguro dahil sa bagong commercial ni Piolo Pascual kasama yung tatlong dream girls ko (whatta coinsidence!) kaya siguro nabuhayan na naman ako ng dugo sa mga models. Nasabi ko na rin dati sa sarili ko na hindi na ko magpa-pantasya sa mga models na yan kasi isa sila sa mga "hard-to-reach" persons dito sa Pinas (proven by personal experience). Pero hindi ko naman nilalahat! Hanep! Mabigyan lang ako ng one-on-one date sa mga to, o sige, kahit sabay sabay na, pero sayang yung oras,kaya mas maganda yung isa-isa lang, pwede na ko mamatay bukas. Pero malamang ma-torpe lang ako sa ganda nitong tatlong 'to!

KELLY MISA
Pretty famous with that Pond's commercial "gracias tita, so hijo piensa que si" (sorry dudes, I dont speak, nor write spanish). But I may say that this Calcarries Agency model is pretty sexy sa commercial ng KFC, pero mas Sexy sya sa Commercial ng San Mig Coffee! Sad to say, wala masyadong write-ups about kelly but in the recently concluded FHM 100 Sexiest women, she bagged the 61st place.





NICOLE HERNANDEZ

I may say that this girl is an alive version of the phrase "Beauty and Brains." She started modelling at the age of 13 and attended college at De La Salle University with the course Psychology and Business Management (Double Major). And dude, SHE IS A DEAN'S LISTER! Nicole endorsed Secret, Pond's, Kotex, Addict Mobile, Astring-o-sol, and Bayo among others and placed 32 in the FHM 100 Sexiest women.











RISSA MANANQUIL SAMSON
Surprisingly, Rissa started modeling at 12, but she began seeing it as a career only about two years ago. She have endorsed products and is the image model of Benetton and BenchFix. Now at 23, she's a model, president (she is the president of the Professional Models Association of the Philippines (PMAP)), wife, mother. ballerina, writer, and television personality. Yes dudes, she's married sut she still bagged the 78th place at the 100 sexiest women poll.









I am still wishing up to now na sana balang araw, makakis-kisang balikat ko tong tatlong 'to. Haayyy, swerte talaga ni Piolo! Asar! Fave ko naman ang kape bakit hindi pa ako yung napili para sa commercial na yon. Basta sa ngayon, naaasar pa rin ako dahil ang alam ko, ako ang qualified para sa commercial na yon, hindi si Piolo!

Fête de la Musique -Sinong Pupunta???

Dude, here's one of the most awaited music event of the year! Imagine over 120 bands taking on eight different stages, all in one night. Whoa!!! This year, sa El Pueblo and The Podium in Ortigas Center ang venue, June 18. Beginning at 4:00 p.m. Eight different genres (rock, alternative, r&b and hip-hop, jazz, blues, reggae, ska, electronica) will play simultaneously until 4:00 a.m. the next day. Admission is f*uckin free!
Well, here is the schedule for the gig:

Main Stage (Le Souffle Parking)
4:30- 4:50pm Butong Pakwan
4:50-5:10 Salindiwa
5:10-5:30 Surfernando
5:30-6:00 Garlic
6:00-6:30 Nityalila
6:30-7:00 Hemp Republic
7:00-7:30 Sing India
7:30-8:00 Kadangyan
8:15-8:45pm Pre-opening: Capoiera/Zips/ Pinikpikan percs and gongs/K-honistas
8:45-9:00 Opening: Cynthia Alexander
9:30-10:15 Makiling Ensemble
10:15-11:00 Spy
11:00-11:30 JR. Kilat
11:30-12:00 Bayang Barrios
12:00-12:30 Loquy
12:30-1:00am Brass Munkeys
1:00-1:30 Reggae Mistress
1:30-2:00 Brownbeat All Stars
2:00-2:30 Indio
I2:30-3:15 Radioactive Sago Project
3:15-3:45 Pinikpikan

Rock Stage (Racks Parking)
3:30-3:45pm Death by Tampon
3:45-4:00 Taggu nDios
4:00-4:15 Sique
4:15-4:30 Plane Divides the Sky
4:30-4:45 13 Needles
4:45-5:00 Severo
5:00-5:15 Silent Sanctuary
5:15-5:30 Hellbender
5:30-5:45 Rugis
5:45-6:00 Shards of Ice
6:00-6:15 Kinky Hooters
6:15-6:30 Join the Club
6:30-6:45 Happy Meals
6:45-7:00 Cog
7:00-7:15 Boy Elroy
7:15-7:30 Dicta License
7:30-7:45 Zoom Zoom Lunacy
7:45-8:00 Ciudad
9:00-9:20 Sandwich
9:20-9:40 Monkeyspank
9:40-10:00 Kwjan
10:00-10:20 Itchyworms
10:20-10:40 Cambio
10:40-10:50 Pinoy Blonde Segment
10:50-11:10 Imago
11:10-11:30 Kapatid
11:30-11:50 Twisted Halo
11:50-12:10 Brockas
12:10-12:30am Sugarfree
12:30-12:40 Sponsor
12:40-1:00 DRT
1:00-1:20 Boldstar
1:20-1:40 Typecast
1:40-1:50 Sponsor
1:50-2:10 Razorback
2:10-2:30 Chicosci
2:30-2:50 The Late Isabel
2:50-3:10 Monsterbot
3:10-3:30 Mayonnaise
3:30-3:50 Greyhounds
3:50-4:00 Closing- Greyhounds

Alternative Stage (Podium Driveway)
3:30-3:45pm Cueshe
3:45-4:00 Ang Bandang Shirley
4:00-4:15 Splitcide
4:15-4:30 Paramita
4:30-4:45 Mush Carnival
4:45-5:00 Milk N Money
5:00-5:15 Mozzie
5:15-5:30 Nancy Drool
5:30-5:45 Pinoy Stories
5:45-6:00 Sino Sikat?
6:00-6:15 Rock Steady
6:15-6:30 Bobby Parks Movement
6:30-6:45 Kinetic Daze
6:45-7:00 Dirty Kitchen
7:00-7:15 Olympic Smoker
7:15-7:30 Sundownmuse
7:30-7:45 Dale Ibay
7:45-8:00 Hiraya
9:00-9:20 Mojofly
9:20-9:40 Sheila & the insects
9:40-10:00 Bridge
10:00-10:20 Rinka
10:20-10:40 Juan Pablo Dream
10:40-10:50 Fudge Segment
10:50-11:10 Hale
11:10-11:30 UpDharamaDown
11:30-11:50 Pedicab
11:50-12:10am Barbie’s Cradle
12:10-12:20 Sponsor
12:20-12:40 Pinwheel
12:40-1:00 Stonefree
1:00-1:20 Narda
1:20-1:40 Kitchie Nadal
1:40-1:50 Sponsor
1:50-2:10 Moonstar88
2:10-2:30 Spongecola
2:30-2:50 KikoMachine
2:50-3:10 Session Road
3:10-3:30 Rivermaya*(subject to availability)

Blues Stage (Sidebar)
9:00-9:30pm Blue Jean Junkies
9:30-10:00 Huka
10:00-11:00 Bluesviminda
11:00-11:45 DC Aftershock
11:45-12:30am Naked Tongue
12:30-1:00 Taglay Silang
1:00-1:45 Mr. Crayon
1:45-2:15 Freeway Jam
2:15-2:50 Sammy Asuncion
3:00-3:45 The Jerks

Jazz Stage (San Mig Pub)
9:00-9:45pm Bo Razon
9:45-10:15 Isha
10:15-10:45 Sound
10:45-11:15 Skarlet & Jazz Friends
11:15-11:45 Quail Quintet
11:45-12:30am Mother Earth
12:30-1:00 Wahijuara
1:00-1:45 Mishka Adams/ Blues Echoes
1:45-2:15 Subconcept
2:15-3:00 Jazz Volunteers
3:00-3:45 Johnny Alegre Affinity

Electronica (Pasto)
3:30-4:00pm Makkina
4:00-4:40 Ixiz
4:40-5:20 Chox
5:20-6:00 Names are for Tombstones
6:00-6:40 Flipperbaby
6:40-7:20 Bagetsafonik
7:20-7:40 One Lone Clone
7:40-8:20 Daydream Cycle
9:00-9:40 Drip
9:40-10:20 Morse
10:20-11:00 Silverfilter
11:00-11:40 Wolfmann
11:40-12:20am Rubberinc
12:20-1:00 Neon8
1:00-1:40 Dayuhan
1:40-2:20 Trip M
2:20-3:00 Moon Fear Moon
3:00-3:40 Skies of EmberHiphop/R&B (Friends)
9:00-9:45pm Out of Body Special
9:45-9:50 Host
9:50-10:00 Kaliph8
10:00-10:10 Ginn and Razor Ray
10:10-10:15 Audible
10:15-10:25 Gloc9
10:25-10:40 ButtaFlava
10:40-10:45 Host
10:45-11:00 Miscellaneous
11:00-11:20 Syke
11:20-11:40 Turbulence
11:40-11:45 Host
11:45-12:00am Swift
12:00-12:10 Jocelyn
12:10-12:30 Pikaso
12:30-12:45 Seven Shots
12:45-12:50 Host
12:50-1:10 SVC

O pano mga peeps! Kita kits na lang! Text nyo ko kung andun kayo! rock on!!!

Child Stars, Fags,Darna at iba pa...

Galing sa Blog ni manong Aldrich Paul:

Kuya dick (Roderick "Pre!" Paulate).. onscreen fag ka ba o pati offscreen.. nyway, i like your Rick Astley moves!!
Aiza seguerra (tama ba spelling?!?hehehe!!).. bat kulay aratiles yung buhok mo?!? correction!! asan na nga pala ung buhok mo?!?
IC mendoza.. bat me dala kang mini-attaché case?!? what's inside?!? magagalit si Dolly Ann niyan!!!
Piolo.. ay mali!! child star pala!! next post ka na lang..
Tolits (BJ Forbes).. don't tell me ikaw ang susunod!!! uupakan kita!!! sige na!! magbura ka na lang ng kalawang!!!
Nash.. suntukan nga kayo ni tolits.. sino kaya mananalo?!? hawakan mo nga tenga!! hehehe!!

Posting ni manong Aldrich yan. Yung link asa kanan (sa blogger version po!). Natawa kasi ako kaya naisipan kong gawan ng article 'tong post nya. Tsaka wala na rin akong maisip na topic sa blog ko. Wehehe.

Si IC Mendoza. Kamakailan lang nasa Extra Challenge ang loko. Nung makita ko yon, sa totoo lang sobrang natawa ako. Wahahah BADING pala yung child star na yun. Siguro yung lola nyang si Inday Badiday hina-high blood na dun sa langit. Hanep ha. Hindi lang siya bading. BADING-NA-BADING! Mas matipuno pa si Ella V. Sa kanya e. Almost lahat ata ng challenge si Ella V. na ang gumawa. Nakakaawang nilalang. Anu kayang sinabi ng nanay nun na si Dolly Ann? Wehe.

At si Tolits, Kumalat sa text na patay na siya. Anaknam... Natawa rin ako dun. may magtext ba naman sa yo ng ganto---

Oisst! Nu gawa mo?
Patay na daw yung si Tolits.
Lagay mo sa Ch.7 dali may
live feed sila.
namatay na daw si tolits...





Natetano daw kabubura ng kalawang
Sender:
+63922*******

Ayun, nung kumalat yung text nagpa-interview si loko sa Unang hirit:
Tolits: "Nagsungit nga po ako nung nalaman ko yng balita kaya po nagpunta po kami agad dito para maibalita po sa lahat na hindi po totoo yung balita!"

Hahaha. Showbiz talaga. Sing gulo ng pulitika! Kaya walang investors dito sa pinas! Kaya wala rin akong trabaho! Mga Bwiset!!!

Sa Darna, Basically ito ang show ng nuknukan ng ka-ewan-an ang mga utak ng tao. Kung makakausap ko lang si Darna madami akong tanong:
* Bakit Darna ang naisip mong pangalan? Hindi ba obvious yun kasi nga Narda pangalan mo? You know. Dar-Na, Nar-Da. Hindi ba obvious o tanga lang talaga yung mga kakilala mo?
* Hindi ka ba nabubulunan sa Batong nilulunok mo? Pero magaling ka ha! WALANG TUBIG nalulunok mo ang ganung bato. Sin laki ng Halls. Iba ka!
* Hindi mo ba naisipang mag-migrate? Tutal naman nakakalipad ka. Madaming tao nga gustong pumunta sa ibang bansa pero walang pera e. Ikaw yakang-yaka mo yun, libre pa!
* Hindi ka ba natatakot sa mga taga internet na baka gawan ka nila ng mga hubad na pic?
* Hindi ka ba nila nakikilala pag naka darna at narda ka? Wala ka namang mask kapag naka-Darna ka. Anung pinagkaiba ng mukha mo? Ang tanga rin ni valentina, hindi ka man lang nya namumukhaan. Magka-office pa kayo ha! Hanep!

Hmm siguro dun kay Miss Celia Rodriguez, (hindi ko kilala kung sino sya dun e) isa lang tanong ko.
* Anung meron ba ang Pilipinas at dito kayo naghahasik ng lagim? Kung ang unahin nyo kaya e USA, baka magtagumpay pa kayo! Go Abroad dude! Sa tingin ko hindi makakaputa si Darna dun. Kunin mo kong consultant mo baka sakaling magtagumpay tayo! Email ko sayo resume ko. Kaysa kung sino-sinong ungas ang kinukuha mo ni hindi ata college graduate yan!

Buti pa yung Encantadia ok! Asar lang talaga yung part na bumabalik pa sa real world. Dapat wala nang ganun.

O ano? Convinced ka na ba na wala akong trabaho???

HANGGANG KAILAN

Yan ang kanta ko ngayon, hindi ko alam kung anung meron sa kantang ito pero na-hook ako nito gaya ng Full House. Siguro ganun talaga pag wala kang magawa sa buhay. Pero basta. Sa kabuuan naman ok tong kantang to e.

Marami na rin palang nahu-hooked ngayon sa blog. Siguro kasi dumadami na ang mga taong walang mapag-sidlan ng kanilang mga emosyon kagaya ko. Pero mas maganda na rin yung ganon diba. Para hindi makapag-reklamo sa yo ng harapan yung babasa. Kung lalagyan mo lang ng Chatterbox na katulad sa akin (yung kahon sa may bandang kanan na kung saan pwede kang maglagay ng kahit anong bayolenteng reaksyon patungkol sa nagsulat), dun mo lang malalaman kung anong reaksyon ng nakakabasa. O kung kakilala mo yung mga nakakabasa, sinasabi na rin nila sa yo ng harapan kung gaano ka ka-tanga. Pero bakit ba? Walang pakialaman! Kung hindi ko isusulat tong buhay ko edi wala kang nabasa! Basta!


HANGGANG KAILAN (Orange and Lemons)

Labis na naiinip
Nababagot sa bawat saglit
Kapag naaalala ka
Wala naman akong magawa...

Umuwi ka na baby
Di na ako sanay ng wala ka
Mahirap ang mag-isa
At sa gabi'y hinahanap hanap kita...

Hanggang kailan ako maghihintay
Na makasama kang muli
Sa buhay kong puno ng
Paghihirap
At tanging ikaw lang ang
Pumapawi sa mga luha
Naglalagay ng ngiti sa mga labi...

Di mapigilang mag-isip
O baka sa tagal
Mahulog ang loob mo sa iba
Nakaka balisa
Knock on wood wag naman sana...

Umuwi ka na baby
Di na ako sanay ng wala ka
Mahirap ang mag-isa
At sa gabi'y hinahanap hanap kita...

Hanggang kailan ako maghihintay
Na makasama kang muli
Sa buhay kong puno ng
Paghihirap
At tanging ikaw lang ang
Pumapawi sa mga luha
Naglalagay ng ngiti sa mga labi...