Sa sobrang aborido ko sa buhay, nag-ikot-ikot muna ko sa paligid-ligid ng mundo ng internet at makasalamuha ko itong baboy na 'to. "Mystic Pig" ang tawag nya sa sarili nya (tignan ang kalakip na larawan. Baka nasa tabi-tabi lang sya).

Kung mistiso ang baboy na 'to kaya "mystic" ang terminolohiya nya sa sarili nya, hindi ko na alam. Pero hindi na rin masama dahil sinagot nya ang ilan sa mga katanungan na pilit bumabagabag sa kaisipan ko. Narito ang naging takbo ng usapan namin:

*Babala: pagpasensyahan niyo na lang ang english ko, tanga lang eh!

I asked the mystic pig: who will be the top senator?
and the mystic pig said: Not who you've got in mind.

I asked the mystic pig: will arroyo be impeached soon?
and the mystic pig said: That's for me to know and you to find out. I don't want to spoil the surprise...

I asked the mystic pig: what do you think will be the status of the Philippines after 10 years?
and the mystic pig said: I don't think that's what you really wanted to ask, was it? Go on, have another go.

I asked the mystic pig: will xxx, the one i love, love me back sometime?
and the mystic pig said: Only if you meet fate halfway.

I asked the mystic pig: is xxx and yyy really together?
and the mystic pig said: I haven't the faintest idea.

I asked the mystic pig: nagtatagalog ka ba?
and the mystic pig said: I haven't the faintest idea.

I asked the mystic pig: tanga ka ba?
and the mystic pig said: A suffusion of yellow.

I asked the mystic pig: what does suffusion mean?
and the mystic pig said: A suffusion of yellow.

I asked the mystic pig: ano nga ibig sabihin non?
and the mystic pig said: Try Google.

I asked the mystic pig: tarantado tong baboy na to ah! pilosopo ka ba?
and the mystic pig said: You already know the answer to that one.

I asked the mystic pig: magkakabalikan ba si sonny at si leah?
and the mystic pig said: My mystic sense is cloudy on this subject.

I asked the mystic pig: will rey and cute be together sometime?
and the mystic pig said: Not in the way you expect.

I asked the mystic pig: will sitti and i go out in a date?
and the mystic pig said: The omens are promising. (Da best ang sagot na 'to!)

I asked the mystic pig: who let the dogs out?
and the mystic pig said: Someone you were thinking of earlier today has the answer.

I asked the mystic pig: who will be the miss universe?
and the mystic pig said: Probably a big hairy spider from Mars. Or a tall, dark stranger. (Kailangan ba talagang dun manggaling ang gagambang yon?)

I asked the mystic pig: makakapag-abroad ba ko this year?
and the mystic pig said: You already know the answer to that one.

I asked the mystic pig: saan?
and the mystic pig said: Try Google.

I asked the mystic pig: matutuloy ba ko sa singapore?
and the mystic pig said: You already know the answer to that one.

I asked the mystic pig: eh yung sa middle east?
and the mystic pig said: I haven't the faintest idea.

I asked the mystic pig: kaano-ano mo si piglet?
and the mystic pig said: You already know the answer to that one.

Napundi na ako at wala nang maisip na itanong. Kaya minabuti kong tapusin na ang kagaguhan na 'to at bumalik na sa trabaho.

Lesson learned: Baboy syang kausap!