“Love is blind, as far as the eye can see” sabi nga ng Spice Girls sa kantang Too Much. Love is indeed blind in so many ways. Minsan ang tao, lalo kapag talagang nain-love na, at may kalakasan ang tama, game over na! Bulag na sa kung anong tama at kung anong mali. Ika nga ni Donna Cruz, “kapag tumibok ang puso, wala ka nang magagawa kundi sundin ito, lagot ka na, siguradong huli ka, (shadam dadam, shumdada).” Nakakalungkot nga lang isipin na minsan, may mga taong sadyang nananamantala ng ganitong klaseng kahinaan (o di kaya naman may iba rin na talagang hindi alam). Hindi rin naman natin masisisi ang mga taong nasasadlak sa ganitong uri ng sitwasyon. Para sa taong nagbibigay ng pag-ibig: bulag, wala nang tama at mali, basta mahal, mahal! Period! At sa kabilang panig ng kuwento, ang tumatanggap ng pag-ibig: masarap ang pakiramdam ng inii-spoil, nakaka-addict, nakaka-enjoy, you simply feel special.
Sa panig ng nagmamahal, dahil nga ikaw ay truly, madly, deeply in love, bulag ka na at maaaring hindi mo na nakikita na you are someone else’s “on the hook”. Maaaring para sa iyo, pinaparamdam mo lang ang pagmamahal mo sa isang tao pero ang totoo, you are “on the hook”. Paano nga ba malalaman kung ikaw ay nasa ganitong sitwasyon? At paano mo ‘to dapat tapusin? Eh kung ikaw ang nabibigyan ng atensyon, at wala ka namang balak i-reciprocate, ano ang nararapat mong gawin?
Una, ano nga ba ang "on the hook"? Eto yung idea na "close but not quite", "parang oo pero hinde", "special, pero hanggang doon lang", kasi ang totoo, may hinahanap pa siya na wala sayo, pero sa ngayon, ikaw lang ang meron siya, kaya ngayon enjoy lang muna siya sayo habang hindi nya pa nakikita yung talagang gusto nya.
To explain further, simulan natin sa punto-de-vista ng nagmamahal: You call each other everyday, sharing sweet nothings and silly little deeds. He or she reciprocates it, kapag magkasama kayo, tangina sa sweetness, kulang na lang gawin niyo sa kalsada right there and then ang maghubad and… you know. Wala kang pagsidlan ng kilig dahil ang pakiramdam mo parang may feelings din sya para sayo. And you have this feeling that you have to take the relationship to the next level. Then here you are, bringing the idea of a relationship in the picture, biglang sabi nya sayo: "you and I are ok. Ok na kung anong meron tayo, let's just take it slow, let’s just stay this way." o di kaya, "hehe, thanks pero hindi muna siguro sa ngayon" or "you're special to me, pero a relationship is too big for us" or anything to that context, then you reply, "uhm, Okay, I can wait, let's just continue what we have." BAM!!! Congrats! You're officially on the hook!
Come to think of it, kung talagang mahal ka rin nya, bakit takot siya to commit into a relationship with you. Love is give and take sabi nga nila, pero bakit sayo lang nanggagaling ang love? Pwede rin na wala ka naman talagang aasahan sa kanya in return, pero eto ang nasa isip nya: “yung feeling na someone is giving you this much attention and care, masarap diba? Ba’t di natin abusuhin?” The only thing na gusto niya sayo ay kung ano ang kaya mong i-offer, at hindi ikaw bilang tao. Masakit diba? Pero if you are “on the hook” maaaring hindi mo nakikita yon. But that is the essence of this kind of situation na kailangan mong ipa-realize sa sarili mo, para makawala sa pagiging “on the hook.” Make it known for yourself na kapag sinabi nyang “I don't think it will work right now,” it equates to “it will NEVER work”. Maaari mong masabi na “I wont give up, this one we have is special, things are gonna work out somehow in due time,” pero ang dapat na gawin ay huwag mo nang pag-mukhaing tanga ang sarili mo. That person does not deserve what you are giving to him/her and its time for you to move on at ibaling na lang ang effort that you exert for someone else that is much more deserving and willing to take the ups and downs of a true relationship with you. How to end it? Talk to the other person directly. Tapatin mo, “look, mahal talaga kita, pero ano ba talaga ang gusto mo sa akin?” If he/she gives you the same answer as the above, end it. Tell that person na you don't want to be on his/her hook and you needed to go. Make that person realize na hindi dapat yung ginagawa niya sa’yo. Say your goodbyes and leave.
But what if ikaw ang nasa other side of the fence? Parang drugs para sa iyo ‘tong ganitong situation dahil gaya nga ng nabanggit, nakaka-addict. Masarap nga naman yung lumalabas-labas kayo nang libre ka, o dinadalhan ka ng kung ano-anong regalo, minamasahe ka, pinagluluto ka, pinaglalabhan ka, may gumagawa ng kung anong gusto mo, may kakain ng jebs para sayo kung gusto mo at kung ano-ano pa. You have to stop it, and be a good person. It’s not right to have someone wait for nothing. Kung na-establish mo na rin naman sa sarili mo na “I cannot love this person back, despite of everything he/she can offer”, tell the truth to that person. You might like that person around because it is an ego boost for you pero hindi ‘yon tama. Just put yourself into that person’s shoes. What if someone that you really have the right feelings for, does this kind of thing to you, masakit diba? Huwag kang selfish. Let that person go and let them find the right person para sa kanila. Do the right thing, hurt that someone and break his/her heart. There’s no easy way to do it but to go on that course. Being honest in this type of situation is pretty spiteful but there is no better alternative. End his/her agony, and in the long run, it is the best solution that you can take.
Sa panig ng nagmamahal, dahil nga ikaw ay truly, madly, deeply in love, bulag ka na at maaaring hindi mo na nakikita na you are someone else’s “on the hook”. Maaaring para sa iyo, pinaparamdam mo lang ang pagmamahal mo sa isang tao pero ang totoo, you are “on the hook”. Paano nga ba malalaman kung ikaw ay nasa ganitong sitwasyon? At paano mo ‘to dapat tapusin? Eh kung ikaw ang nabibigyan ng atensyon, at wala ka namang balak i-reciprocate, ano ang nararapat mong gawin?
Una, ano nga ba ang "on the hook"? Eto yung idea na "close but not quite", "parang oo pero hinde", "special, pero hanggang doon lang", kasi ang totoo, may hinahanap pa siya na wala sayo, pero sa ngayon, ikaw lang ang meron siya, kaya ngayon enjoy lang muna siya sayo habang hindi nya pa nakikita yung talagang gusto nya.
To explain further, simulan natin sa punto-de-vista ng nagmamahal: You call each other everyday, sharing sweet nothings and silly little deeds. He or she reciprocates it, kapag magkasama kayo, tangina sa sweetness, kulang na lang gawin niyo sa kalsada right there and then ang maghubad and… you know. Wala kang pagsidlan ng kilig dahil ang pakiramdam mo parang may feelings din sya para sayo. And you have this feeling that you have to take the relationship to the next level. Then here you are, bringing the idea of a relationship in the picture, biglang sabi nya sayo: "you and I are ok. Ok na kung anong meron tayo, let's just take it slow, let’s just stay this way." o di kaya, "hehe, thanks pero hindi muna siguro sa ngayon" or "you're special to me, pero a relationship is too big for us" or anything to that context, then you reply, "uhm, Okay, I can wait, let's just continue what we have." BAM!!! Congrats! You're officially on the hook!
Come to think of it, kung talagang mahal ka rin nya, bakit takot siya to commit into a relationship with you. Love is give and take sabi nga nila, pero bakit sayo lang nanggagaling ang love? Pwede rin na wala ka naman talagang aasahan sa kanya in return, pero eto ang nasa isip nya: “yung feeling na someone is giving you this much attention and care, masarap diba? Ba’t di natin abusuhin?” The only thing na gusto niya sayo ay kung ano ang kaya mong i-offer, at hindi ikaw bilang tao. Masakit diba? Pero if you are “on the hook” maaaring hindi mo nakikita yon. But that is the essence of this kind of situation na kailangan mong ipa-realize sa sarili mo, para makawala sa pagiging “on the hook.” Make it known for yourself na kapag sinabi nyang “I don't think it will work right now,” it equates to “it will NEVER work”. Maaari mong masabi na “I wont give up, this one we have is special, things are gonna work out somehow in due time,” pero ang dapat na gawin ay huwag mo nang pag-mukhaing tanga ang sarili mo. That person does not deserve what you are giving to him/her and its time for you to move on at ibaling na lang ang effort that you exert for someone else that is much more deserving and willing to take the ups and downs of a true relationship with you. How to end it? Talk to the other person directly. Tapatin mo, “look, mahal talaga kita, pero ano ba talaga ang gusto mo sa akin?” If he/she gives you the same answer as the above, end it. Tell that person na you don't want to be on his/her hook and you needed to go. Make that person realize na hindi dapat yung ginagawa niya sa’yo. Say your goodbyes and leave.
But what if ikaw ang nasa other side of the fence? Parang drugs para sa iyo ‘tong ganitong situation dahil gaya nga ng nabanggit, nakaka-addict. Masarap nga naman yung lumalabas-labas kayo nang libre ka, o dinadalhan ka ng kung ano-anong regalo, minamasahe ka, pinagluluto ka, pinaglalabhan ka, may gumagawa ng kung anong gusto mo, may kakain ng jebs para sayo kung gusto mo at kung ano-ano pa. You have to stop it, and be a good person. It’s not right to have someone wait for nothing. Kung na-establish mo na rin naman sa sarili mo na “I cannot love this person back, despite of everything he/she can offer”, tell the truth to that person. You might like that person around because it is an ego boost for you pero hindi ‘yon tama. Just put yourself into that person’s shoes. What if someone that you really have the right feelings for, does this kind of thing to you, masakit diba? Huwag kang selfish. Let that person go and let them find the right person para sa kanila. Do the right thing, hurt that someone and break his/her heart. There’s no easy way to do it but to go on that course. Being honest in this type of situation is pretty spiteful but there is no better alternative. End his/her agony, and in the long run, it is the best solution that you can take.
Labels: love, on the hook, relationships
Dude!
What?hehehe
may pinagkukuhanan? ang lalim e!
bakit pareho kayo ni mam jo ng comment?! hahaha. ganon ba talaga kalalim?
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